It may be that some family members haven’t been told about your HIV yet, and you want them all to know. Or maybe you don’t want anyone to know until you’re ready.
All these situations can make life more complicated for you.
What the adults in your family might be thinking
When your parents or carers were growing up, there was much more stigma about HIV. This could still affect them and make them feel uncomfortable about bringing the subject up.
They might be thinking:
- Should I wait for my child to bring up HIV so that I know they’re ready to discuss it?
- How will my child react if I talk about it?
- Should I protect them from feeling upset?
- Do they have questions I can’t answer?
- We’re all healthy, so why do we need to talk about it now?
What questions do you have?
If you’re a child or teenager growing up with HIV, you may have lots of questions you want to ask your family but may feel you can’t ask. Here are some questions we’ve heard:
- Were my parents born with HIV?
- Do my siblings have HIV/why don’t my siblings have HIV?
- Why wasn’t I told sooner?
- Why can’t I tell my siblings about my HIV?
- Are there other young people with HIV?
- Will I be able to have a relationship?
- Can I have a baby?
- Does school know or do I have to tell school?
- Who knows that I have HIV?
- What will my future be like?
- Should I wait for my parents/carers to bring up HIV so that I know they’re ready to talk about it?
It’s so important that you can ask whatever you want to, to help you understand yourself and HIV. Never forget that if you are finding it difficult to talk about HIV in your family, you have specially trained professionals on your side, including doctors and nurses who will listen to you and give you the answers you need. The Chiva team is also here to help you make your way through tougher times.
You may find these FAQs helpful.
Young people have told us that watching some of Chiva’s films together can help start conversations. You could also think about coming to one of our family events. See information about them here.
There is more information for parents and carers here.
Attend a families event
We organise events especially for families living with HIV. As well as at least one residential each year, we also run smaller regional meet-ups. These are designed as safe spaces to have tricky conversations.
Visit the families’ area
Find more advice for parents and carers in the families’ area of the website, including how to support your young person as they grow up, testing for HIV, how to access support yourself, and much more.
